


breathe (ain’t no rest for the wicked)

by gunpowderandsunshine



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: I think?, M/M, Mickey Milkovich is the toughest motherfucker, Season Five-ish, angsty i guess, everything’s a blur, i was supposed to be working, just a little drabble, mentions of murder/suicide, not writing, nothing graphic, oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 04:07:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15622185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunpowderandsunshine/pseuds/gunpowderandsunshine
Summary: i was listening to “ain’t no rest for the wicked” by Cage the Elephant on lunch the other day and the chorus reminded me of Mickey so yeah, here we are.





	breathe (ain’t no rest for the wicked)

**Author's Note:**

> i was listening to “ain’t no rest for the wicked” by Cage the Elephant on lunch the other day and the chorus reminded me of Mickey so yeah, here we are.

Mickey woke with a start.

It was too quiet. He could hear the tv or maybe the radio in the background and the occasional rumble of voices. But other than that— silence. The Milkovich house was rarely this quiet.

And he could sleep though anything but the quiet.

Svet was always screaming at him in Russian or the baby was crying. And Ian was off his fucking rocker and he was stuck in this shitty life in this shitty house on the South Side of Chicago.

The hustle was all he knew. He'd been raised in it. The Milkovich kids all knew how to scam and con to varying degrees but Mickey was without a doubt the best.

There was no way out. Terry might be locked up at the moment but he had all but ensured that Mickey would never get to leave this life. And he couldn't fucking breathe here.

He just wanted one goddamn minute to catch his breath. One day where he didn't have to constantly be on his toes. Just one damn day where the whole goddamn world wasn't crashing down on him.

One day where Svet wasn’t on his ass for everything. One day the kid wasn’t squalling. One day where he didn't feel like he had to watch every last move Ian made.

One day where he didn't have to worry about his dumbass brothers or if that asshole was still beating the shit out of his sister. One day where he didn't have to run some kind of con just to put food on the goddamn table.

It was all piling up on top of him and he couldn’t catch a break or catch his breath.

God, he just needed a break. He just needed a chance to breathe before he was dragged under. And he would be. He was running out of fight. He couldn't carry all of this forever and he just needed to BREATHE before he went down and he never got out of here. He'd die here in this shit hole.

He'd said it once before, he was fucked for life and he felt it lately more than he ever has before. And some days he wanted to put a gun to his head and pull the damn trigger because then it would all stop. No more yelling. No more crying baby. No more Ian.

Ian.

That beautiful crazy motherfucker who owned every last piece of Mickey’s heart.

He did all this shit for Ian.

Because who was gonna care about him if Mickey didn't? Who was gonna keep him safe while this illness he refused to admit he had drove him mad? Who else if not Mickey?

Sometimes he thinks he could pull the trigger and take Ian out first and then turn it on himself but Jesus he can't imagine a world without Ian Gallagher in it even if he wouldn't be around to see it so he pulls back on his own particular brand of crazy and he keeps fighting his demons because he's the fucking glue holding this whole fucked up family together.

And he knows more often than not he fails, and he fails spectacularly. But he hasn't lost one of them yet so he keeps going, fighting for air, fighting to breathe, to keep them together, to keep this goddamn sorry ass ought to be condemned roof over their fucking heads.

He's small but he's tough. A born fighter. He's smart and he's quick-witted and he has never given up and never backed down and he's not going to start today.

So he will get out of bed and he will put on his nicest clothes and he will hope like hell that Ian is having a good day. And he'll go run another moving truck scam with his stupid family or whatever else he has to do to keep his kid fed and his nag of a wife off his back.

And he'll find enough air to get through today and tomorrow and the day after that.

He'll keep going because he's a fighter and as he steps out of his room and sees Ian holding Yev and dancing around the kitchen while Svet laughs and cooks breakfast he knows he has a hell of a lot to keep fighting for.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh there ain't no rest for the wicked  
Money don't grow on trees  
I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed  
There ain't nothing in this world for free  
Oh no, I can't slow down, I can't hold back  
Though you know, I wish I could  
Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked  
Until we close our eyes for good


End file.
